LOVE IS NOT HAVING POSSESSION : LIFE TODAY

 A View of 'Love'

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They say possessiveness, jealousy- are healthy for a relationship. Just ask that person who is actually a victim of this 'possessiveness' thing....then you will come to know the original picture behind so-called 'You are my everything'. We can possess an inanimate, lifeless thing, not a human being...if we try one day it will also become an emotionally inactive creature - a living dead body. 

When we fall in love with someone what do we expect? We want him/her to be a part of our life and also to be a part of his/her life, we want a person in front of whom we won't be needing a filter......more precisely we expect him/her to be an emotional partner in every situation and vice-versa. How beautiful this 'being in love'....right? But sadly enough very few people experience these in actuality with their partner.

Presenting a girl's view : (unmarried)

1. After getting into a love relationship for no reason your partner tries to be your guardian more than a lover. He needs to control everything in your life....where are you going? .....with whom?....when will you return ?...these are compulsory like having Oxygen. And after giving all the details he needs to approve it in the first place....your parents can go to hell....doesn't matter.....he only needs to approve it first. Oh, I forgot the most important point...."I need to hang out with only girls."

2. You cannot just let him know and go somewhere with friends...you need to have a battle first, then you can go if you win and if he wins you have to stay home with #love which has just stopped you from having a good time with friends. A person who is concerned about your safety, will not make you feel guilty for going out without him....rather he will understand that you need your time with friends too and it doesn't make him less important. My partner is supposed to be a part of my life....not my whole life will be about him....there are other people in my life who do matter too.

3. 'Social media passwords' - woohoo!!! what a topic I am talking about......this is everything at least in Indian # couples. LOL...don't you know you are supposed to tell him all your passwords if you want to be in a relationship with peace....rarely vice-versa....mostly one-sided. And guess the approaching line "there cannot be anything secret between us" and all kinds of emotional blackmailing.....so much drama to have control of social media handles!!!!

4. You are not supposed to stay online at night if you are not talking to him by phone or any social media platform. And if you do it, it will be taken as you were talking to other boys and you have to clarify what were you exactly doing....like point by point. You are not allowed to surf social media just for your happiness.....you have to answer what were you doing on Instagram.....if WhatsApp then with whom you were talking to and so on. Oh!...one more thing....the last seen of your WhatsApp shouldn't be off....okay? Otherwise, there will be a third world war.

5. If someone does comment under your photo like 'beautiful', 'nice', or just something positive you need to block him immediately otherwise your #boyfriend will make you do it or he will do it himself from your account.

6. He will take care of you so much that you will feel guilty to talk about his faults. In the beginning, it feels really good seeing someone so caring but then gradually you realize that he doesn't allow you to do anything yourself. It will be your life-controlling by him only. After a certain time, you will find yourself as a person totally out of self-confidence dependent on him for every little detail of your life.

7. In India, the dress you are wearing is also a problem. Once you say yes...suddenly your partner wants you to wear traditional Indian dresses only like - saree, salwar. Why? Because he thinks that he only has the right to see you in a western outfit...so you're not allowed to wear them in public. Though he still loves other girls in body-hugging dresses only you aren't allowed to wear an off-shoulder top. Dear, this is not 'love'.....what your boyfriend need is a 'psychiatrist.' 

You need to behave like a person in a coma, you will have senses but you need to obey everything without any reaction or a blind person having a stick in her hand named 'lover', 'boyfriend' etc. You have to be a xerox copy of him. You cannot have your space. Nothing will happen according to your opinion. You will see whatever he wants you to see....will listen to what he wants you to listen to.

All in all, YOU HAVE TO FORGET YOUR INDIVIDUALITY AND EXISTENCE.

I am not saying all these just from my experience, I have noticed a lot of people around me and most of them are having the same situation....some love to be dominated...some stand up for themselves....some are still trying to figure out things.

Little Suggestion :

life

I am very sure many people are struggling through this situation and don't know how to deal with it. I don't know what situation you are actually in. Just keep one thing in mind - if you are crying every day, sacrificing all your opinions to preserve peace, if you are adjusting with yourself every moment, unable to recognize yourself anymore, seeking excuses to cover up the wounds of your relationship then it is not 'love' anymore - it has become a fight.

'Love' is the most beautiful feeling in the world and it is not supposed to make you cry every day. Just look at yourself and choose which version of yours you love the most - this 'crying dependent creature' or that 'beautiful lively confident person' - you will get the solution.

Possessiveness has become a disease for a healthy love relationship these days. Certain numbers of relations are about to fall apart because of it. Talking about myself, I have suffered a lot....literally a lot because of this. There was a time when I used to blame my luck that all the bad things that happen to me only but today I am thankful because it has taught me the most necessary lesson of life - the difference between 'love' and 'obsession'; 'insecurity' and 'concern'.

"Two bodies and one soul"- is not 'love'. "Two souls, having each other's back in good and in bad times" - is love.

There is a special category who love to be a puppet and appreciate these things as immense love. If you are one of them....dear, this is not the right place for you.  

THANK YOU FOR STOPPING BY.
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