Ideal CV of Arrange Marriage in India

Image by Pixabay

This is an incident of 2018 probably. A relative's family of mine was looking for a girl for their son. They went to a girl's house as it happens in an arranged marriage. They talked about everything - dowry and all. That girl's picture was circulating among other relatives of mine. I have also seen her. And if I am not wrong those two persons - would be husband and wife - were in contact with each other. Suddenly, one day I heard the whole thing had been canceled - why? - Because their horoscopes didn't match. I was speechless. I heard about this kind of situation beforehand but seeing this actually happening from so close I was just awestruck. What's more shocking is that boy's family is educated. 

The first question I managed to ask was "If it's all about horoscopes why they talked about dowry and other so much hope to that family ?"

You know that boy's family is not only educated but also literally very rich. Comparing to them that girl's family was not up to the mark financially. Just imagine how shameless and spineless a person need to be to ask for dowry after knowing all these. I really wonder for the actual reason for cancellation........just horoscope or the amount of dowry?

But honestly, I am happy for the girl. I know this whole cancellation is a big embarrassment but it's better to live with dignity than to live with people of such a mean mentality.


In arrange marriage the most irritating part is this 'interviewing the girl' part. The boy's family will come with a big number of relatives with them....thousands variety of snacks, sweets, juice, tea, coffee, main course have to be done for them and then after consuming all of it and making the girl as uncomfortable as they can by asking weird things they will say "we will let you know by phone later." And most of the time this line means a big 'NO'. Then this whole process will keep repeating until the girl's family find a 'YES'.

And this is India. Parents have a problem if you date more than one boy but it's okay to showcase yourself to uncountable strangers and get rejected.

Indian parents won't let you choose any one of your choices but you are supposed to sit comfortably in front of a stranger's family while they will be interviewing you to know whether you are marriage material or not. And their expectation has no limit - like a list, it will be :

a. Mesmerizingly beautiful face cutting 

b. Thick long black hair

c. Fair skin tone

d. Height should be less than the bridegroom

e. Need to be educated on a high level but won't be doing the job

f. Have to be a pro in cooking

g. Singing, dancing, painting these attributes are highly appreciated...just to tell people what a multi-talented daughter-in-law they have got.....nothing more than that.

h. Easy to dominate.  

I. And apart from all these aspects you have to pay a big amount to marry - dowry, of course.

j. "HOROSCOPE".....the bride and bridegroom's horoscopes need to get matched...then the marriage can take place.

People say marriage is a beautiful bonding between two persons and two families. Ask that father who has taken a loan to pay the dowry.....ask that daughter who has seen her father's sleepless nights of anxiety to arrange money. In India at least 80% of marriages are based on a handsome amount of money.

Nowadays so-called modern people have a polite sugar-coated form of demanding dowry. They mention it as "helping to set up the house of the bride and bridegroom." And the list of help is unending - flat, car, AC, jewelry, cash, furniture, and so on.

Actually, there is a particular mathematical calculation to select the amount of dowry. If a family has both girl and boy children - the amount of dowry for their son's marriage depends on the investment they do in the girl's marriage. And if they do not have a daughter then the amount depends on the investment they have done in their son's education, a degree from abroad, etc. Besides, there are other parameters like - Bride's skin tone, financial status, etc. They forget they are selling their own son.


Also read :

Social Norms

Post a Comment