Year 2020 and its Open Secrets - Ready?

Open Secrets of 2020

2020 is the first year about which I am thinking literally quite a lot these days. I have seen people are saying a lot of things about this year since the coronavirus outbreak. Social media platforms are overflowing with posts and comments full of sadness, anger, regression, depression, frustration, and whatnot.

In the beginning coronavirus pandemic(March 2020) was the general point of mourning. Many people have lost their dear ones and numerous are still struggling with death. Those who have managed to keep themselves safe are trying to cope up with a brand new lifestyle.

2020


Coronavirus outbreak has not only taken lives but also has given a miserable one to those who are alive. Apart from the fear of death, an umpteen number of people have lost their job. The financial crisis has replaced the fear of pandemic for a huge section of our society. 

Seeing from a broader point of view everybody is exhausted with 2020 either mentally or physically. But again, it's all about time. Gradually, everything has fallen into a row in some ways. Basically, we are left with no choice but to accept whatever situation we have and carry on. Balancing all the topsy turvy now we have reached the last month of 2020 and hardly 15 days have been left to bring 2020 to an end.

My 2020

At the beginning of 2020, I didn't really take any resolution to nurture. Whatever I had in mind was about figuring out my carrier and the "what should I do next" kind of thing. And during the last few months of 2019, there were some big changes in life and I was struggling every single day to cope with them along with which there were some decisions to make. 
It was that kind of time when you are having a lot, literally a lot going on in mind and you are bound to wear a smile no matter what. And honestly, I didn't get that healthy space to open up to anybody. With all these 2020 set in which was not a 'happy' new year for me at all. 

Still, it was a new year and I was so hoping to organize my messed up self and thoughts. I don't know how much I was getting into it and from nowhere this pandemic appeared and everything just went upside down. It was like I was climbing up, suddenly someone forcefully pushed me back to the starting point.

The first two months were like 'wow staying with family for a longer time' which was actually good. But gradually it was getting into my nerve. Spending 24 hrs having nothing to do - loneliness, boredom, frustration, insecurity, depression were taking their place one by one. I was clueless and just like most people I marked 2020 as the worst year.
But if I talk about it now I won't be agreeing with my earlier impression. I would rather say 2020 has been the most fruitful year I have ever experienced. More precisely, 2020 has been a year of processing myself. 

You know it's very easy to say 'love yourself first', 'be yourself', 'spent time with yourself' and stuffs like that. We actually enjoy these narratives when we have friends, other happenings, and lots of work to deal with. Just imagine you are suffering from loneliness, boredom, no one is there to share something and someone just shows up saying you need to love yourself first and things like that...it's just the worst. I think this is what we call "toxic positivity" - when you need someone to cry in front of, they are up for giving self-love knowledge.

So what happened is after a lot of blaming this and that, mood off, filling up diary pages with gibberish, irritation, screaming on littlest things, and crying I realize there is no way to get back to my previous schedule now and I cannot live with this frustrating, insecure myself anymore. 
So do we have left? Yes, ma'am, we have one last exclusive offer of accepting the situation, loving yourself, and cultivating yourself from different angles.
And trust me I didn't sound convincing to myself at all. Because I already had things planned before lockdown and the other side of 'accepting the situation' was canceling my previous schedule which would be the last thing I want.

You know, self-exploration is a thing that cannot be taught. We can deliver the idea but cannot make one do it until he/she craves for it genuinely. Maybe someone is exploring himself not knowing the term and concept of 'self-exploration'. It's about the situation we are in and the hunger for breaking the layer of 'predictable regularity'.

I think 2020 is the year where I have explored myself kind of knowingly. I mean before this I have done things but this way - sitting inside four walls. To be honest, in the beginning, I was like "Seriously! is this even my thing?" But somehow I was consistent and voila...here I am...with a brand new version of me and just to clear the confusion it's not a "lockdown talent" fever.

Self-exploration is not only looking for our capability but also exploring our drawbacks, questioning it, and trying to modify them to have a better version of ourselves. I believe another side of exploring yourself is it also shows things that are actually the loopholes of our personality which means you get a chance to rectify yourself. 

2020 has shown how we always pick up the most insignificant things as the most important in our life. Happiness is all that matters end of the day still we satisfy our ego in the first place, then everything else.

This pandemic has proved again how living in the moment and being happy is the priority of life. Today all of us are very conscious about our priority list in life. What is a priority list by the way? Most of the time everything is interconnected, we can't separate them as 1,2. You will be needed at the same time in various fields where ignoring 1 can set back your carrier there avoiding 2 can put a question mark on your conscience for the rest of your life.
In short 2020 has prepared us for life in its own unique and devastating way. I am sure the perspective of seeing life has been changed among many of us. Live every day as your last day on earth otherwise you never know how much time you have - the open secret of the year 2020.
Life is an open buffet of ingredients and the ratio in which we are mixing them to make our own version is all that matters. So just stay calm, choose wisely, and cherish it to the fullest.
 
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Thank you for visiting and reading.
Love and care from Anny's Pen.
See you in the next blog.

Disclaimer: This article is purely based on my personal opinion. Yours can be totally different which I do respect, so do not take it personally. And it's open to criticism but be kind with your words.

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